Running in a Non-College Town--an homage to A.G.O

When spring finally arrives, the mowers come out.

Push mowers, Craftsman, John Deere, Cub Cadet, with baggers, mulchers, self propelled, human propelled. Riding mowers, if there's enough room.

They come out and fill in the lawns around houses. Front yards, side yards, even the unseen back yards. Every surface with fescue or zoyzia needs a mower.

Only the most stalwart mowers have the energy to mow for the retired chemical plant worker. The rest sputter and spit. Bogging down, a small mower beckons the retired gym teacher, daring him to go into the 5 inch bermuda.

It holds.
He sweats.
Waters it again.

Turkey

My neighbor whom I have grown very close to has recently had a heart attack and is in the hospital awaiting bypass surgery. He remains in good spirits however. When asked how the food was at the hospital he replied, "It's terrible. I had this turkey dinner last night that I could barely even finish." A nearby nurse who overheard this said, "Did you say that the turkey was bad last night?" Bill replied with the affirmative. She went on, "That was not turkey, that was pork." When recounting the story he said, "That's how dry it was, I thought I was eating turkey."

I'm thinking about you this morning Bill, and hope all is well--especially the food.

On the Way

--She is everything to me, the unrequited dream, a song that no one sings, the unattainable. She's a myth that I have to believe in. All I need to make it real is one more reason. I don't know what to do.


Artwork courtesy of Quint Buchholz

Lyrics courtesy of Corey Taylor

NPR Story

I heard this pretty amazing story on NPR today that I thought I would recount here. A gentleman from the Bronx was taking his hour long subway ride home one night. He would always get off at the stop before his and have supper at the same diner every night. This particular night he was held up at knife point for his wallet. He gave it to the kid, and as the kid was walking away the guy basically said hey, if you're going to be out robbing people all night you had better take my coat too so you don't get cold, much to the young kid's astonishment who didn't know what to say. The guy then talked the kid into having dinner with him at the diner.

As they ate, the manager, waiters, dish washers, everyone came by to say hello to the gentleman. The kid, once again astonished asked why he was nice to everyone, even the busboys. The guy simply said that he was taught to be nice to everyone no matter what, wasn't he? The kid replied yes, but he didn't know that people actually acted that way. When they finished eating the guy said look, I'd love to treat you to this dinner, but seeing as how you have my wallet, I'm afraid you'll have to pay. The kid gave him his wallet back without question.

As they left, the guy handed the kid a twenty dollar bill and said he could have it if he gave him the knife. The kid took the twenty in exchange for the knife and they parted ways. One can't help but to think that that was potentially a life changing moment for that kid. He probably never had anyone just treat him like a person that mattered before. Hopefully he learned something from this unusual encounter and will use it for something good in the future.

The guy ended the interview with something that was pretty inspiring, and gave me a little hope, he said: "You treat people right, and you can only hope that they will treat you right. It is as simple as it gets in this complicated world." Complicated indeed, made a little less by people like this man. Thank you.

Quote for the Day

"There are no birds in the nests of long ago."

--Denton Elder


Whatever you say Denton...

A One Sided Phone Conversation

mmmhey baby...

Do you need to go to the Walmart tonight?

Well I was just checking because I have to run by there anyway and go to the pharmacy...

Yeah...

It's a fungus...

Yeah...

Heh heh...

Well I'll have to explain THAT story when i get home...

When I get home...

I have to go back in about a month to see if things are cleared up...

Yeah...

I'm running low on battery so I have to let you go...

mmmbye baby.

Pessimism

An actual conversation that transpired:

"This is my favorite part of the day."

"What, five o'clock?"

"Yeah, it represents the longest amount of time until I have to come back to work."

"Good point...See you tomorrow."


Pessimism at it's best.

Fatherhood

Last night, for one of the first times, I experienced the essence of fatherhood. My son was playing with some utensils on the kitchen floor while I got out the vacuum to sweep the rugs. He is only eight months old and sometimes I tend to forget that. As I fired up the vacuum a heart-breaking look of terror broke across his face and he began to cry and reach out to me. I quickly realized the error in my ways and promptly shut off the sweeper and picked my shaking son up off the floor and told him I was sorry for scaring him and that there was nothing to worry about. His crying stopped and he looked cautiously from me to the vacuum and back again with tears in his eyes. We bent down and I showed him that it was okay and it wouldn't hurt him, and still holding him in my arms, I turned it on again. At first he was scared and reached up to get away, but he soon became comfortable with it as long as I was there.

It really made me feel good, obviously not the scaring him part, but the fact that when he reached out to me in fear, I was able to comfort him and, as long as I was around, make that fear go away. I don't know that I've ever been looked up to in that way by anyone before, and that's what I have always looked forward to about being a dad, having someone look up to me for advice, for knowledge, or in this case, comfort and reassurance. That to me is the essence of fatherhood.

We Are All Geeks

The following is a passage I found while looking for quotes from my favorite author Drizzt Do'Urden (those of you in the know will say that Drizzt is not an author, but to me he is). Here is the passage:

A scimitar does 1d8 damage with a 2x crit threshold. Assuming +6 damage versus fire-using creatures, this would be 1d8 + 6 + 1 (STR). Let's assume max damage, 25 (as on crits, you only double weapon base damage) times two strokes, and you get 50. This is significantly less hit points than a Balor demon would have, especially an ancient.

Now, when I first read this, I was confused. I style myself a borderline geek and recognized that this passage was describing some role playing scenario, but I didn't know exactly what it was saying and admittedly, even found it a little amusing when imagining it as a counterpoint in an argument. But then something occurred to me: what makes me or anyone else any better or less geeky than the person that wrote this? Take this for instance:

A fast WR with a 4.2 speed threshold does a lot of damage. Assuming 10 catches, 200 yds, 3 TDs versus a cover 2 defense, this would be 3 x (6 + 1). Let's assume no penalties and a rushing attack, 21 (touchdowns being worth 6 + 1 for EP) times 2 for the rushing attack and you get 42. This is significantly more points than an opponent running zone coverage would give up, especially a ranked one.

I copied the same structured paragraph from the one above but just inserted football terms instead of role playing ones. Doesn't that make football seem a little geeky? Quite similar I would say. So why is it okay for someone to obsess and go nuts over their sports team of choice, but someone who chooses to have the same level of passion for something that is a little less "socially acceptable" looked down upon and laughed at?

All I'm trying to say is that we all have a passion for something. For a lot of people, yeah, it is "their" sports team; but it could also be their work, it could be kids, cooking, creating things, art, Dungeons and Dragons...any number of things. Just because guys getting drunk at the bar to drown their sorrows because their team just lost the big game is more socially acceptable by the masses, doesn't make it better than a few friends getting together with some pizza and using their imagination to create a world to step into for awhile.

Insert the words from your own passion into the above paragraph and see what you find. Would it seem a little geeky from the outside looking in, as with the football example? I'm thinking that it probably will, and maybe you'll see that we have more in common than you thought.

The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch

A small man stood before an immense crowd, speaking words of wisdom that reached the eager ears of men and women, young and old. Laughter was abundant, tears were shed, hearts were warmed, in an instant a small man was transfigured into something much more. He was larger than his frail frame, taller than the tallest man, more tenacious than the cancer that was killing him. He loomed over the audience, serenading them with anecdotes on life and offering up unsolicited, but earnestly accepted advice. They were all a little better for hearing him speak. I was a little better for watching him speak. The world will be a little worse without him.

Lessons Learned From Star Wars

I've had some question as to whether this is a "Star Wars" blog. Let me clarify, no, this is not a "Star Wars" blog, despite the picture and quotes from Yoda. I do love Star Wars a lot though. Not to the point that I find myself discussing how the blockade enforced on Naboo effects the economy on Coruscant, but I do have a small light saber collection if that's any consolation. Now you may laugh and point and say, "Look at that geek, he likes Star Wars." But hear me out, there are some real lessons to be learned if you take the time to listen.

Take for instance when Luke travels to the Dagobah system to learn from Yoda. He is trying to learn the ways of a Jedi just the same as any one of us in a new career trying to learn a new skill that seems impossible. When Yoda tells Luke to lift the X-wing from the swamp using the force Luke says, "Moving around stones is one thing, but this is totally different." To this Yoda says, "No, no different, only different in your mind. You must unlearn what you have learned." Brilliant. The only thing stopping Luke, and many of us, is his own self doubt, not believing it can be done. Luke hesitantly says, "Alright, I'll try." Yoda once again, wise beyond his 900 years says, "No, try not, do...or do not, there is no try." Brilliant. It's so poignant and resounding that it speaks for itself. After Luke fails his attempt to raise the X-wing he claims that Yoda asks the impossible. Yoda then proceeds to use the force to lift the X-wing from the swamp to the astonishment of Luke who exclaims, "I don't believe it." Yoda simply states, "That is why you fail." Brilliant.

What we learn from this scene is that Luke constantly fails because he fails to believe in himself, and refuses to believe in the force he has inside. With him it is always what can't be done. It is no different than the old adage "You can do anything you put your mind to." I'm not preaching that here, that is not the purpose of this. I'm merely pointing out one of the many reasons why I love Star Wars. It's so much more than "Luke, I am your father" (even though Vader never really says that verbatim). It's entertaining, imaginative, and inspiring. So have an open mind going into it, and I think you'll be pleasantly surprised at what you might find.

Traffic Lights

I am in no way disputing their need. I'm well aware of the mass chaos that would ensue if the world were suddenly void of their presence. However, I must say that they annoy me, and I have a feeling that I'm not alone when I look across to the car next to me and the driver of said vehicle is pounding the steering wheel in frustration for missing yet another green light.

I have a total of three traffic lights on my way to work: Ridge and Central, Ridge and Maple, and Ridge and Taft, pretty good you say, not as bad as some people, especially for Wichita. Let's do the math, shall we:

Let's generously assign an average of 1 minute spent at each traffic light per trip. Sometimes you fly right through, and sometimes you miss the amber and are stuck for the full cycle.

1 min x 4 trips/day (to and from work, and to and from lunch) x 3 traffic lights=12 min/day

Not that bad, right? Let's proceed:

12 min/day x 5 days/week=60 min/week (I wonder to whom I should bill that time)

1 hour/week x 52 weeks/year=52 hours/year

52 hours per year. That's 2.166 days on average per year just to and from work that I sit idling at a traffic light. I realize some people absolutely put me to shame, but I thought I'd shed some light on the situation. I'm not advocating a coup d'etat against the use of traffic lights. They are a wonderful mass organizational tool that save lives, I just wish I could hit all greens. Damn the electric fence.

Congratulations

As much as it pains me, as much as I hate to see all of the crimson and blue seemingly coming out of the woodwork, as much as I can't even fathom the thought that 8 points kept them from playing in both a football and basketball championship, I've come to the conclusion that I'm not a good Kansan if I didn't say it. So, congratulations KU...at the very least, it was an exciting game, and that was a pretty sweet shot. Rock, cha...nope, couldn't even type it, congratulations will have to do.

A One Sided Phone Conversation (feel free to pause for dramatic effect)

eeello...

mmmhey baby...

What?

A toothpick?

Well now how did that happen?

A toothpick...

Well what was it doing in her room?

Is that why she was limping?

I knew something wasn't right, 'member I told you last night...

Alright, I'll talk to ya later...

mmmbye baby...

The First Page part 2

I was languidly thumbing through a copy of our company policy manual one day when I came across something that gave me pause, Section 2.4 titled: Intentionally Left Blank. There were other sections just like that all throughout the manual as well, and while it did catch me off guard at the time, I haven't given it much thought until recently. It just didn't make sense to me to have a page that's sole purpose is to say that is was meant to be blank. So I did a little research, and found it to be quite a common practice when an author wants to assure a reader that they are aware that a page is blank and it was intentional, not a printing mistake. It also can serve as a placeholder of sorts, leaving room for something in the future.

But something still bothered me. It wasn't blank. The phase's very existence on the page made sure of that. So I dug a little deeper and found that what I had come across was called a meta-reference, something that is aware of what it is. An example would be an actor looking into the camera and saying or doing something that lets you know that they are aware that they are in a movie. So the presence of my phrase tells me that it knows it's a document and it knows that it is blank and it's telling me so I know that it was meant to be that way.

So I suppose that for my first post on this blog, I'm imploring this technique, letting you know that I intentionally intended for it to be blank and there was no mistake. It turns out that "Intentionally Left Blank" is quite a handy tool, I only lament I didn't know about it in school. It prevents me from having to write an introduction, the hardest part for me to write. I'm just using it as a placeholder, maybe for a rainy day, maybe for a post to end all posts, or maybe for nothing at all. What a brilliant concept. Who knew casual blogging could be so educational.

The First Page

Intentionally Left Blank