Memo From an Evil Overlord

MEMORANDUM:


To all Imperial Fleet employees:

This is just a reminder of the upcoming annual Imperial Picnic. Families are more than welcome to attend. Main courses will be provided and all are encouraged to bring a side dish and/or dessert. We will, as we have in the past, be giving out awards to winners of the Storm Trooper of the Year, the Jango Fett look-a-like contest, and also the "Who Can Take More Than One Glancing Laser Blast" award. In addition, we have added a new Father/Son Ewok tossing competition. A special appearance and oration from the Emperor will take place to cap off the evening.

I look forward to seeing you all in the Death Star commons area on Sunday. May the Force be with you.


Regards,


D. Vader
Dark Lord of the Sith

Horrible is Wonderful

If you haven't seen it yet, go to http://www.drhorrible.com/mushortio.html and watch Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog. A word of caution, you might want to allow around 45 minutes or so. There are three fifteen minute episodes, so you could break it up, but you'll want to watch them all anyway they are so well done. You'll want to destroy the status quo because the status is not quo, and in the end you'll have PhD in horribleness.

The Iron Throne

We sit on a throne of a thousand swords, never comfortable, never allowing ourselves to sit back lest we gouge ourselves on the barbs of self-infliction. We sit high on the dais, to better judge all whom are deemed less than deserving of our time, time that has shortened itself by our command. Instant has turned into eternity, and forever now translates to "until something better comes along." The ideal of what should be remains ideal, whilst our lives waste away in a reality that is not easily assuaged by the "comfort" of the iron throne. It was forged in the fires of guilt and tempered by the fear that that guilt would remain in perpetuity. There are no bindings, no lashings on our wrists. We choose our seat. And the throne of a thousand swords is as tempting as a bright red apple, ripe for the taking.

Time Traveling

My clock on my computer at work has been creeping ever so slightly in the reverse direction, getting slower and slower. It didn't bother me too much, I just knew that it was 4 minutes off...until today. The IT guy came by and "fixed the problem." However, one minute it was 11:44 and 10 seconds later by my watch my computer changed to 11:48. Thus, I am writing this to you 4 minutes in the future. What does the future hold you might ask? Well, for me, the future holds a turkey sandwich and some Doritos. So I'm not sure if I traveled through time, or just move 4 minutes closer to lunch.

The Kayak

He inhaled. The cold morning air burned as it filled his lungs. He held it there for a moment. He liked it. It made him feel alive and vibrant. The early rays of dawn were just breaking over the horizon, and a welcoming warmth from the sun washed over him in an attempt to sate the chill in his bones. He stared out across the river to the still trees with a stoic gaze and decided it was time. He kept his balance as he lowered himself down into his vessel. His fingers wrapped around the cold steel of the paddle and with a gentle push, he was free...The current instantly took hold of the kayak, but practiced strokes righted his ship. An exhilarated calm came over him. The disconnected freedom he felt in the water was unparalleled. It was like he was no longer weighted down, and he became part of something immense and alive. He reached out his hand and let his fingers skim the surface of the water. It was cold, forty degrees perhaps, and icy to the touch. He smiled. He began to paddle again, not knowing his destination. That thought was secondary. Today he was letting go, letting the water move him, and leaving everything behind in his wake.

The Countdown

I have a calendar at work. It sets on a shelf and all twelve months fit nicely on a letter-sized piece of card stock. I mark off the days in blue pen. I have calculated that at end of July, the year was 58.33% over, and August, 66.67% done. A good day is coming back from a rare three day weekend in which I can not only cross out four days, but strike through a row as well. It is satisfying. But I have to wonder, why? What am I counting down? There is no "last day of school" to look forward to, no X amount of days until Senior Year. There are no more immediates in my life. I'm in it for the long haul, counting down to retirement, or death. And based on my calendar, I am thousands of blue checks away, and a very small percentage of being done. Damn the electric fence.

10 Things

This is a variation of something I saw on a few other blogs I frequent. Instead of telling 10 things I did today, I am going to list 10 things I wish I would have done.

1. Called in sick.
2. Turned left instead of right.
3. Written more.
4. Sat upwind rather than down.
5. Turned up the music a little louder.
6. Prayed more.
7. Bought those shoes.
8. Called a friend.
9. Not opened that trash can.
10. Gone to bed an hour ago.

09/01/2008

I have seen the face of joy, and joy comes in a large box...

September 1st is coming.

Daily Dose

What a great way to start each day. I have recently found this website (thank you Ryan) and highly recommend that you make it part of your daily routine.

http://wvs.topleftpixel.com/

Happy Birthday

One year ago my son, Garrett, was born. That was the happiest, and scariest day of my life. I can't believe it has already been a year. He's growing up too quickly, but learning more and more everyday. I can't imagine my life without him. He means everything to me, and I love being his dad.

Happy birthday Garrett...

Spealio

--I've seen this artist perform live a few times. He is absolutely brilliant as is this CD. HEAVEN!!!

--I'm no expert, but I know what I like...and this I like! Smooth and kickin' at the same time; Markley's performance and compositions are excellent. Highly recommended.

--This is a great CD - music is beautiful. Thanks to the great artists - this is a hit. Add this to your jazz collection.

The above are reviews for Spealio, an amazing jazz CD featuring music composed and performed by the one and only Ben Markley, jazz pianist. The coolest thing about this CD, for me at least, is that Ben is one of my good friends from college. I've seen him play many, many times and can definitely attest to his piano playing perfection. He is one of the most dedicated people I know, and I'm very happy for the attention he is getting. I've just recently learned about the CD, so I haven't picked one up yet, but I've listened to most of the tracks, and everyone should go out and buy this album. You'll be glad you did.

I miss you buddy...

King Midas

I stole the title, but it is true. Congratulations are in order Mr. Phelps. What you did will possibly never be done again...and I'm glad I was there to see it.

Meanderings

Two mind meanderings that I thought up and like to think about from time to time...

1. If you could build a straight road that circumvented the globe perpendicular to it's axis, and could drive at the exact rotation rate of earth in the opposite direction, not only would you appear stationary from space, but as the sights are blurring by in your peripheral, the sun would never set from your reference point. In time it would move north and south, but it would never set...think about it.

2. If you were to walk due North until you reached the exact point of the earth's northern magnetic pole, you would then be standing in a spot in which every direction around you, front, back, left, right, would all be south. It would remain this way until you took one step in any direction, thus mapping out your new orientation. Behind you would be north and to your left and right would be east and west, respectively...think about it.

Imagination is more important than knowledge...

One More...

I couldn't resist this one...

--So I say 208 wye, and he says, "Because I said so!!"

Pride

Call it parental pride, but I think my kid is the smartest ever. I mean come on, reading the paper at 11 months...that's probably a record.

Fun With the NEC

I am currently attending a National Electric Code seminar in Omaha, NE. Good stuff. Below I have given 3 examples of just the punchlines of jokes that you may hear in the presence of electricians, engineers, and the like...

--So he says, "Insulator? I've never even met her."


--So after he got zapped I said, "Ohhh, you said grounding conductor."


--So he's going out for the first time and his mom yells, "Don't forget to use overcurrent protection!"

Tiny Hands

This is what I see at 12:50 PM every weekday, tiny little hands pressed against the glass as I drive away. Sometimes there are tears, not today. Now how can a guy go back to work in such a state? It's the hardest part of my day. However, it's made all the better when I come home and he's there to greet me with, "Dad!" Best part of my day.

End of an Era

I can't say that I was ever a huge fan, but there was something solid about seeing a number 4 behind center every Sunday wearing green and yellow for a good majority of my life. And I liked how he played the game. It will be a lot different now that he's a Jet. I have to say I'm a little disappointed in how it all played out though. Oh well...Go Pack.

Worms in My Ears

Podcasts are wonderful, a change of pace in my day. I listen to them while I work and like to think that I'm making the most of my time by working and educating myself at the same time. There's not much to say about them really. There is a podcast out there for many, many different subjects. Here are the ones that I catch every episode of:

http://www.geekson.com/
-I've mentioned my love for Geekson before. Very entertaining and intellectual conversations with a great format and a surprising variety.

http://www.basicbrewing.com/
-James Spencer provides a wealth of knowledge for both the beginning home brewer and advanced. He arranges some pretty impressive, informative interviews with some big names in the craft-brew arena including the Godfather, Charlie Papazian.

http://www.radiolab.com/
-This is probably the one I quote the most. It is a very well produced show that offers very interesting studies in science and life. I use information gathered on this podcast in many a discussion.

http://www.dancarlin.com/
-Dan has two podcast, Common Sense, which is a political show if you like the right side way of thinking, and Hardcore History, the one I listen to. Dan is very well prepared for his shows and knows a lot about a lot of things history. He makes you want to know more all the time, I like that.

http://www.craftbeerradio.com/
-This show is a novelty. Two guys sit around and drink beer and tell you how good/bad it is. I am an occasional listener because they give good "beer history" lessons sometimes and that is kind of neat to hear how things develop.

There are a few others that I might stumble upon from time to time, but these are the ones that I listen to so much that I feel like I "know" the hosts. If anyone has any more suggestions, I'm always up to try a new show, and if you haven't checked these out and them seem interesting, give them a try.

Catch the Reference

So my neighbor stops by the other day and asks if I wouldn't mind giving her husband a hand moving a few things. I said sure, why not. I know what you are thinking. You are thinking, "How well do you really know these people, Josh? First it's the furniture, next thing you know, you'll be driving them to the airport." Well I can tell you for a certainty, I'm not driving them to the airport.

Haiku

Back to work again
A weekend that was so fun
Makes the week so long

I sit in my chair
Counting the hours 'til five
Only eight to go

The day it drags on
The rolling hills call to me
Damn electric fence

Thank you.

Men in Black

I have a good friend that works for the Fed. He carries a badge with a black flip-top holder which when flashed, gets him to the front of the line. In a low voice airport security asks him, "Are you carrying today." Even though he is not allowed to in his line of work he coolly replies, "Not today," and boards the plane.

Quint Buchholz

Is he climbing in, or climbing out? Why?