Conerning Malls

The one thing I hate more than spending over forty-five minutes at the mall are those vendors that are in the middle walkway. "Would you like me to put some lotion on for you?" she'll say. Or, "Do you want to try some almonds?" And my favorite, "Yo bro, what kind of cell phone you got on?" Let me ignore the obvious grammatical mistakes that are ruining the youth of today and say that these guys get to me. The guys with gel-spiked hair and far too much Red Bull. Just the other day one of them caught me off guard and when I relented and showed him my phone you'd have thought I pulled out my Zack Morris on him (that's what she said). His eyes got big and a smirk grew on his face. And what was the brilliant, genius, charismatic sales pitch that he gave me..."Oh man, does that thing even have a CAMERA on it bro? What's that about?"

No, it does not...and stop ending your sentences with prepositions...bro.

Adultism

How to know you're an adult: Not yet two years removed, you call up your buddy from college and talk to him for two hours until 12:00 AM on the following issues:

--current mortgage rate/term issues accompanied by spreadsheet analysis

--Health insurance premium fluctuation

--Preferential terms on credit that warrant Reg. O violations in banks

I'm old...

The Cake

Sometimes they bring cake. It represents the anniversary of an individuals employment with the company, and usually is accompanied by a speech by both parties. What was usually a 24" x 18" behemoth of a chocolate baked good was today replaced by a quaint, round 12" carrot cake. My first thought was, "Man, I really wish I had an IPA on hand." (see October 8, 2008 post).
My second thought was, "Hey..." quick calculation:

volume of cylinder = piR^2h = 452.39 in^3

volume of rectangle = lwh = 1296 in^3

"...that's 843.61 cubic inches less cake! A decrease of 65%."

But upon further thought and calculation, I figured my intake, assuming equal division of cake, would be a 6" x 6" brick slab of chocolate, versus a modest, manageable 3" wedge of carrot.

My arteries thanked me in advance for my due diligence.

January In KS

It's days like today that make me loath leather seats and covet keyless starters...

Sometime...

The song was written for him...7 years too late, for a quondam version of himself that he no longer cared to know. The melancholy words resonated all the same, however, and the song became surreal. He was standing under those bar lights, seeing his reflection in the mirrors, trying to remember to forget again. Forget what the lyrics were saying, thoughts that had traversed time to finally reach his ears. The past became the present, and the song, it was about him...but it had yet to be written.

College Imagery

A Wiest Hall iconic symbol...

Should I...

I thought it was just a glitch in the matrix, the title "Should I Stay or Should I Go" was stuck on my screen. But every time I clicked on the link the words, "Sorry, the blog you were looking for does not exist," appeared. A little part of my day is less eventful now...

Numbers

Mine is a life of numbers...and 118 is the new 17...

I'll just leave it at that.