Say Hello To My Little Friends

Another home brew lesson learned the hard way: Never store bottle conditioned beer in the refrigerator. Yeast, that magical wonderful ingredient we all know and love, will continue to work on, and better your beer as time goes on. Refrigerating your home brew is like yeast genocide, killing it and rendering a potentially wonderful beer a just ok one. Remember, yeast is our friend. Give it a nice warm home, some food, and a little oxygen at the beginning and it will return the favor.

Backseat Driving

My brother-in-law on his dad's new GPS navigation device: "Boy, I bet this has saved a lot of marriages."

classic...

Q&A

Some have been asking, so here is the answer. I just ordered the ingredients for my third batch of home brew. It's Josh's Special Porter. That is just a code name of course, like "Dolphin," or "Revolution." I'm anxious to get another one going.

Update

For those following along at home, this was a few months ago:

Every time I walk into her office I see it, sitting there, perched on her desk. It angers me. They thought I wouldn't notice, wouldn't notice the late night, weekend switch...but I did. I noticed it first thing Monday morning. Something was amiss. Someone had been to my desk, and now it was gone. They thought I would think it was the same one, same size, same everything, but it was not. Mine was better, and they knew it, and they became jealous. And now when I see my screen on her desk, it angers me.

Update:

Go ahead, you can have the puny 22 inch. The future for me is looking good...looking good on a 24 inch giant. mwaaa ha ha ha.

God Jul

Oh yeah...Merry Christmas! And God Jul to my Swedish readers.

Failure

The last two times my older brother has been home, I have been quite enamored, and admittedly a little afraid of his iPhone. I like to think I use technology with the best of them, but this was so far beyond me and my three year old, free Alltel phone, that my mind couldn't comprehend it. They shouldn't call it a phone, it's not a phone. It's one step away from being sentient.

One of the cooler things though was being able to read my blog on it! It was my blog, only miniature. I had plans to post from the iPhone. It obviously didn't happen. I, uh, couldn't figure out how to do it. So this is my iPhone post, from the comfort of my PC. I might catch up...

...one of these days.

Guest Post

Since I have been tied up and unable to post much recently, I am going to post a guest entry. (without consent of the author mind you) This was a comment on one of my previous posts, so some might recognize it, but I thought it warranted more screen time.

Meanderings by Brandon
1. he who has none of the answers has all of the answers. or if you prefer, he who has all of the answers has none of the answers

2. even the tallest shower head gets the shortest man wet

3. thomas jefferson- "if men were angels no gov't would be necessary."paradox- gov'ts are comprised of men.

you're welcome
b

Dark Beer

A little while back I discussed a few misconceptions people have about craft beer and drinking other things than macro lagers. Well, the point was driven home last night once again. I was at a new liquor store that had a pleasantly wide selection of beer. It is also on my way home from work (sort of) so that was a bonus. I picked up just two bottles of Boulevard's specialty beers that I needed to try, went to pay, and this was the ensuing conversation:

Me: So have you tried this Saison?

Guy: No, I'm just starting to get into "dark beer."

Me: (winced) speechless

This Saison is definitely not a dark beer, far from it in fact. One shouldn't use the phrase "dark beer" colloquially to describe anything that doesn't say Coors or Bud on it.

I'm not trying to be a beer snob, I just am trying to shed some light on the fact that a majority of people have an image of what beer is, or what a person who likes to drink beer is and it is wrong. A good beer has just as much if not more flavor and complexity as wine, but society has held up wine as a more refined, sophisticated drink. So I can see how these misconceptions are born...but it doesn't mean I have to go along with them.

Unfair

As he sat slurping down the remnants of a nostalgic bowl of chicken-flavored Ramen noodle soup, he couldn't help but think of his family. Seventy five miles away they were dining on a Swedish feast of his favorites. Spicy potato sausage, Swedish meatballs, lutefisk and potatoes, Swedish tea rings and creamy ostkaka for dessert washed down with egg coffee. Everyone was full and happy, listening to Swedish folk songs, singing the night away. He decided to go to bed...damn that Ramen.

Question

Why is it that the more "successful" (I use that term loosely) we become in our professional lives, the less time we have for the things that we really enjoy?

e.g. blogging

Damn the electric fence.

Happy Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving to all. I know I myself don't always remember and tend to forget how lucky I really am and how much I have to be thankful for. It shouldn't take a day like Thanksgiving to realize this, but I think we all need a little reminder sometime.

The Dark Knight

By the way...I saw "The Dark Knight" last night and...eh. It was alright. Too long in my opinion, which could have been alright, but I just wasn't feeling it. The build-up for the movie had me wanting something mind-blowing, but I've definitely walked out of movies with more excitement than this one.

Words To The Wise

Words to the wise: What I learned from my first batches of home brew

1. Don't compromise. If you are wanting to get into home brewing, chances are you already know someone who does. Don't buy ingredient kits from magazines or websites because the description sounds good or sounds like something your friends and family will like. Use your resources and find a recipe from a homebrewer for a beer that you enjoy. Ultimately it will make you happy to drink it, and happy to share what you like with newcomers.

2. I know that brown bottles are best, but something you'll want to do is bottle one bottle per batch in a clear bottle. This will help you better monitor the progress of the bottling stage of your beer.

3. Use liquid yeast. Especially for first timers, liquid yeast is far easier to use than dry. I prefer the Wyeast smack packs.

4. Be patient. You'll want to try your beer along the way, that's fine, but don't get discouraged. Be patient--it really does take 6-8 weeks in the bottle for it to really get good.

Top 5

This is something I'm surprised hasn't come up before now, but since not, I'm just going to run down my top five favorite songs of all-time. Now, before you pan me for not including this song or that song, know that these are just my favorites, not what I consider to be the top five greatest songs of all-time. However, feel free to contribute your own favorites, as I always am looking for a great song.

1. The Taste of Ink - The Used: My hands down #1. Loved it from day one, and still love it today no matter how many times I hear it.

2. I Just Don't Think I'll Ever Get Over You - Colin Hay: Not only is it a part of the best soundtrack ever, Garden State, it is one of those songs that has a soul.

3. Hemorrhage - Fuel: An odd pick some may think, but to me, you can't beat this one for raw emotion.

4. Broken - Seether: Another one of those that had me at hello. Just a wonderful song--before Amy Lee had to come foul it up.

5. I Do - Howie Day: The number five slot is more than likely a revolving door. I had so many other considerations, but this one has a recent resonance and comes from a particular time in my life that just makes it stick with me. Love this song.

Honorable mention:

The Luckiest - Ben Folds
Box of Sharp Objects - The Used
Desparado - The Eagles
Schindler's List Theme - Itzhak Perlman: An honorable mention song worth mentioning. I would put this as a tie in the #5 position.

11/11 - 11:11

I'm not an overly superstitious individual, but there has always been something strange to me about 11/11, or 11:11. It just kind of creeps me out for some reason. Something terrible will probably happen to me because of this post. I'll be happy when today is over.

Beer Virtue

It's been awhile since I posted a beer update...I was a little disheartened this weekend and thinking that my first venture into homebrew was nothing more than a learning experience when a friend came over and wanted to try it. I put out the normal insecurity disclaimer that, "It wasn't very good, but ok." I hadn't tried the Irish Ale in about a week and a half, so I chilled a couple of those and we drank that. What a difference a week and a half makes. Not only did my friend really like my beer, but I was more than surprised myself at how well it had come along. It really does need 6-8 weeks in the bottle. So it did turn out to be a learning experience on the topic of patience: in homebrewing, it is indeed a virtue.

The Mower

Sophia: Could you fix my mower?

Garrett: Sure thing little lady.

Cowboy Football

I Voted

For better or for worse...I participated.

CAD Art

I was messing around with a few commands in AutoCAD one morning and when I zoomed way in on them, I thought they were really neat images, so I jpeged them and thought I would share a few.

maybe I'm on to something...

Priorities

This weekend I found where my priorities lie. At around 11:00 AM on Saturday morning, I had just finished changing the oil in my car when my father in law asked if I wanted to go kayaking. In the back of my mind I was thinking, "Hmmm, the KU-KState game starts at 11:30." Then I took a sample of my surroundings: sixty five degrees, absolutely no wind, crystal clear skies, and an autumn filled scenery. Compare that to watching a football game that was certain to bring nothing but a foul mood...I didn't even think twice as I loaded my kayak into the truck. We went for about two hours down the river and it was just what I needed to unwind. Just paddling down the river, scaring up a few deer along the way, letting your hands float in the cool water, listening to the leaves fall, it was so much better than the alternative. The choice was also confirmed upon seeing the score of the game when we returned.

October 31st

Happy Halloween.

Backseat CAD Operator

You can point, you can give directions, heck, I'll even let you run my mouse for the moment. But never, I repeat, never close another person's toolbars. That's just not cool man.

They Call Him Whiskey

Speaking of Will, this has got to be one of my most favorite, telling pictures of all time. If you didn't know Will before...you do now.


Miss you buddy

Quote For The Day

Quote from my good friend Will's brother that I think is funny:

"I love drinking on days I take off of work because it's like they are paying me to get drunk...and that makes me happy."

A Rush Of Fools

Is it sad, or just a fact of life that the biggest adrenaline rush I get in a day is trying to get the eighty-five drawings prepared and sent to the printer on time with twenty minutes notice? I plead the fifth...damn the electric fence.

Experiment

Here's something pretty crazy for you to try. I used to do this all of the time when I lived out in the country. It made it easier with no sound references. Sound and light references will make this a hard experiment. What you do is lie in your bed at night and close your eyes. Clear your mind of everything but your room. Picture it in your mind as if you were looking at it from your current position, not standing up. Once you have the orientation down, change the image in your mind so that the room has rotated about you and your bed. For example, if the north wall in your room is on the normally on the left, picture it in your mind as being behind you, and so on. You have to concentrate really, really hard to convince your mind that you and your bed are oriented differently than you really are, but it's possible. Picture it clearly, everything in your room. Try moving your head to your left and picture what you would be seeing, not what is actually there, then do the same to the right. Things like Windows and doors are really good references. Look with your head at where a door or window would be in the rotated room and work out from there. Once you have thoroughly convinced your mind that you are facing a different orientation, and you can see a clear picture in your mind, looking in all directions, you are ready. Now open up your eyes and you will see the room spin back into place, to it's real orientation. It is quite an experience. It sounds unbelievable, I know, but really does work if done correctly, and it is a really neat experiment of what the mind can do.

Autumn In The Valley

Some pictures from the weekend...

Little Helper

I just had to show this picture. Garrett loves to "help" with my beer, but there are some things he just can't do yet. So, we got him his own plastic "carboy" and a rubber hose from his swimming pool so he could do his own "beer." And last night he really got into it.

It's Alive

So I got uncharacteristically impatient and opened one of my beers yesterday after only two weeks in the bottle. I just had to know what was going on in there. So with the help of my other brewing partner, Garrett, I tried the first one. It was good...it wasn't great, but I enjoyed it and my wife liked it too, and she's not even a beer drinker. However, I think it could benefit from another two weeks in the bottle, just to help it along.

Now that's this batch is nearly done, and I just bottled the second last night, I have been getting some inquiries on what I am going to call my beer. Truth be told, I haven't decided yet. I know, it's getting pretty late in game, but I do have it narrowed down to about two or three. So we'll see who makes the cut. I am excited though to see what others think of my beer experiment.

What I'm Drinking

One of my favorite parts about Autumn is the beginning Fall beer season. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy the light and refreshing summer ales, but when that cold weather comes around, there is nothing better than a nice hearty stout or porter. They seem to warm you from the inside out.

A nice transitional beer is the one shown above, Samuel Adams Imperial Pilsner. This is probably one of my top five favorite beers. It only comes out this time of year around here, I'm not sure about it's availability elsewhere, so I only get to enjoy it for a short time. My wife just brought me home some last week, so I've been savoring it a little at a time...and for $2.50/bottle, I have to stretch it out.

As it says on the box, it does have an "Intense hop flavor." I've had IPAs that were no doubt stronger in bitter character, but for this style, it definitely fits the bill for a hop-head like me. It also uses my particular favorite variety of hop, hallertau. Everything about this beer is nice, it's pour, it's aroma, color, head retention. I can't find much about it like I don't like. And it's just over 8% alcohol, so like I said, it'll prepare you for those big winter beers coming up.

Autumn is officially upon us. If you're not ready to give up your summer beer, that's fine, but if you need something to ease you in, go down to your bottle shop and pick up a couple of these. They are a bit pricey, but well worth it in my opinion. They are just the thing needed to kick off Fall beer season.

A New Hope

Even mom couldn't console this little guy after he saw how bad Star Wars episodes I, II, and III were. Sorry Garrett, I guess that's why episode IV is called "A New Hope." We'll get you into the good stuff, I promise.

Currency of Cynics

So I paid $2.49 for gas today...I never thought I'd pay below $3.00 again let alone $2.50. But then again, I am a clinically severe cynic.

Genius

AP-Artist Laura Gilberts' print 'The Zero Dollar' protesting the breakdown of the American economy. Gilbert distributed 10,000 of the fake greenbacks in front of the New York Stock Exchange on Tuesday, Oct. 7, 2008 to call attention to the economic crisis gripping the nation.

--I've got to have one of these.

The Space

The space had always been there. It was nothing more than white lines painted perpendicular to the curb. So many feet wide by so many feet long, no doubt the result of some sort of regulation. It was oriented toward the south, giving the parker a view of a field that in the summertime was abloom with wildflowers, and in autumn filled with geese. A short, solitary tree shaded the space the best it could with its leaves and branches when the sun was high.

He took the space the first day he arrived. At first he did it to be polite. Everyone else parked in the middle and he feared he would be taking up another's space. Eventually, however, he felt at home there, and never felt the need to park closer, even through rain and snow. The shade was nice in the summer, and he enjoyed looking out across the field before leaving his car in the morning. Things were good.

Time went on, and every day he pulled into the space the same as the day before. Days became weeks, and weeks turned to months. A year went by, still he kept the space. Something was beginning to change though. Despite his devotion to the space, he felt an overwhelming, crushing feeling of monotony. Every day he drove in the same lane, turned the same corner, pulled into the same lot and squared up to his space. He was beginning to get...bored.

Until one fateful morning...he drove in the same lane, turned the same corner, pulled into the same lot, and for some unconscious reason, pulled into his space diagonally. He sat there for a moment, confused, not sure if he should back up and park square as he had hundreds of time before. However, after a moment, he got out, walked backwards a few paces and observed his car, in his space, parked at an askew 45 degree angle. He pivoted on his heel, took a skip, and with a smile on his face, walked towards the door.

Cake and Beer

I requested a carrot cake recently and my wonderful wife whom is an excellent baker and all around cook obliged and had one for me when I got home. My request was spurned by having heard recently that carrot cake "goes well" with a nice IPA, so having some on hand (I had just started in on a six pack of Ballast Point Big Eye IPA) I got a bottle from the fridge and poured a glass. Let me start by saying, "goes well" is an extreme understatement. This is one of the most exciting things to happen in my mouth since I had the food in Chicago. The carrot cake is very sweet and thick, the frosting leaves a creamy texture on your tongue and coats the sides of your mouth. Once you take a quaff of the IPA, however, the carbonation dances in and cuts through, scrubbing away the creaminess and leaves you with a wonderfully clean taste and feeling. The extreme bitterness of the beer is more than ample to handle the equally intense sweetness of the cake, symbiotically bringing them together into a Utopian-esque balance. And a slight, very slight, almost imperceptible spiciness from the hops perfectly compliments the spice in the cake as lost lovers who were meant for one another. Every subsequent bite and drink was the same wonderful experience. My wife looked at me in perplextion as I ooooed and ahhhed over the deliciousness, but I was unreachable in a euphoric state of bliss. I will never again eat carrot cake without IPA. To not would be to deny peanut butter of jelly, a hot dog of a bun, or apple pie of apples. It would be incorrigible. You're better off not to eat any at all, or just eat it with a glass of milk...I hear that "goes well" with carrot cake, but my standards have now been raised.

All Hail

My little sister was crowned the Queen of Homecoming the other night. Congratulations, I'm really proud of you.

Centennial

This page intentionally left blank.

The Machine

I'm thinking of making a change...pretty catchy, no?

First

Ah...the first of October, my favorite month of all.

The View From Above

And won't you think I'm pretty
When I'm standing top the bright lit city
And I'll take your hand and pick you up
And keep you there so you can see
As long as you're alive and care
I promise I will take you there
And we'll drink and dance the night away,
Drink and dance the night away.

Interview With An Evil Overlord

I received some inside information that Darth Vader was among the readers of this blog. So, I pulled a few strings with some friends in L.A. and was able to get a phone interview with the man himself. Here is my interview with The Dark Lord of the Sith.

Me: Good afternoon Lord Vader, welcome to Intentionally Left Blank.

D.V.: (heavy breathing)

Me: Hello, Lord Vader...can you hear me alright?

D.V.: I sense something...a presence I haven't felt since...

Me: Hmmm...Well, it's just me here, Josh from ILB.

D.V.: We meet again at last.

Me: ...Wait, what?

D.V.: The circle is now complete. When I left you I was but the learner, now I am the master.

Me: Uh...actually, this is the first time we have met, I think. You might have me confused with someone else perhaps. I just write for this blog.

D.V.: Don't be too proud of this technological terror you've constructed.

Me: Okay, I guess. I didn't know it was that terrible. Listen, is it alright with you if we begin the interview.

D.V.: As you wish. What is thy bidding master?

Me: Ha ha, sarcasm, I like the humor. Uh, anyway, welcome to ILB. I'm really excited to be speaking with you. I am a big fan, and I know some of the readers are fans as well. Now, my first question is: What is your opinion of the current economic status and the financial crisis?

D.V.: I find your lack of faith disturbing.

Me: Oh, I have faith, I really do. I'm sorry if my question lead you to believe that I am being pessimistic.

D.V.: Apology accepted Captain Needa.

Me: Uh, it's, uh, Josh actually, and I just meant to say, do you think Bush has made the right decision concerning the matter?

D.V.: If he could be turned, he would be a powerful ally.

Me: President Bush? Are you serious?

D.V.: He is as clumsy as he is stupid. He will join us or die, my master.

Me: Well, I suppose that's right, the first part anyway.

D.V.: So, you have accepted the truth? You were unwise to lower your defenses.

Me: Oh, trust me, I haven't. I have been pretty defensive.

D.V.: You have learned much, young one. Perhaps I can find new ways to motivate them.

Me: I'm quite sure that you could, now if we could...

D.V.: I am altering the deal.

Me: What? But we were in the midd...

D.V.: Perhaps you think you're being treated unfairly?

Me: No, I mean...not really, I guess.

D.V.: Pray I don't alter it any further.

Me: Ummm...okay.

D.V.: Obi-wan never told you what happened to your father.

Me: My father lives not far from here, actually.

D.V.: I am your father.

Me: No, you don't understand. I just saw my father last weekend.

D.V.: Search your feelings. You know it to be true.

Me: No, No! I will never join you. You are clearly nuts. I can't see how Luke puts up with you. This has been a big waste of my time.

D.V.: The Emperor will compensate you.

Me: Fine, I'll send him a bill. (click)

D.V.: (heavy breathing)

Star Wars Haiku

Ethereal ghost,
Obi-wan calls out to Luke,
The Force be with you.
--------------------------
Vader reaches out,
Together we could rule all,
I am your father.
--------------------------
To Luke Yoda says,
Impossible it is not,
That is why you fail.

Lost In Wichita

My wonderful wife has been gone for two days. While I don't mind being alone, it really makes me realize how dependent I am on her being here. Don't get me wrong, I'm not helpless, but I just take so many cues from her that when she's gone, I don't know quite what to do with myself. Here are a few examples of the things that go on when she's not here:

1. I stayed up entirely too late.
2. Subsequently, I accidentally fell back asleep this morning and got a later than usual start to the day.
3. I fell asleep with the bedroom light on, and it remained on all night.
4. I forgot to take out the trash for pick-up.
5. I forgot the movie I was supposed to take back.
6. I locked myself out of the house and had to pick the lock to get back in.
7. I forgot to water the tomatoes...twice.
8. My menu for the past four meals has been a turkey and spinach sandwich...that's it, maybe a glass of milk.

Please come home soon...

The Screen

Every time I walk into her office I see it, sitting there, perched on her desk. It angers me. They thought I wouldn't notice, wouldn't notice the late night, weekend switch...but I did. I noticed it first thing Monday morning. Something was amiss. Someone had been to my desk, and now it was gone. They thought I would think it was the same one, same size, same everything, but it was not. Mine was better, and they knew it, and they became jealous. And now when I see my screen on her desk, it angers me.

Beer Update

The Irish Draught Ale has already been transferred to secondary fermentaion. It was quicker than I expected, but hey, I guess the numbers don't lie. I was at 80.95% apparent attenuation after four days. I am in no real hurry to bottle. I will continue to let the yeast settle and do some more clarifying work for a full two weeks, then I think I'll be ready.

I will be brewing the cream ale tonight. My brew partner (my wife) will be gone so a buddy of mine will be coming over to help out. It's a different kind of yeast tonight. I have a hypothesis on which one I will like better, this or the one I used on the Irish, but we'll see.

Happy brewing...

The Wall

Three men came upon an immense brick wall blocking their path. The wall was obviously very old. Yet despite the cracks and crevices, it exuded a time worn strength and experience. "To continue walking this path you must find a way pass," the wall said. Noticing a pile full of tools, the first man impatiently grabbed the first thing he found, a sledge hammer. Taking the hammer to the wall the man thought he would knock out a hole just large enough for him to fit through, and he would continue on his way. After 15 minutes of futile swinging though, no more than a chip had been taken from the strong wall and the man threw the hammer aside and went back the way he came.

The second man, noticing the failure of the first, dug deep in the pile and found a sure-fire quick fix in some explosives. After carefully wiring them to the base of the wall and standing a goodly distance away, he lit the fuse. After a resounding boom, the man surely thought he had brought the entire wall down and would be a hero to all. However, after the dust had settled he found that he also made no more than a crack in the old wall. Dejected, the second man too went back the way he came.

The third man approached the wall and examined it carefully. He walked the base for one hundred yards in both directions taking note of everything he saw. At last he reached up with one hand and found one of the crevices just as his foot found another, and pulled himself off the ground. Again, higher this time, he found another crack with his hand, and then another. Before long he was many feet off the ground. Sometimes he moved laterally, sometimes even down to find the best path up the wall. Never looking back, he kept his eyes to the top and patiently picked his way with a careful ease. After many hours, the man finally made it to the top of the old, strong brick wall. He didn't linger long, and never did he look back to marvel at the feat just accomplished. Instead he looked forward, at path that lay ahead, and welcomed the next obstacle to come.

Beer Fest

I stopped in at the Midwest Beer Fest at Century II this past weekend and came away with mixed feelings. I enjoyed tasting some of the beer that I had been meaning to try lately and was pleasantly surprise with a few, very disappointed in more than a few. I have narrowed down my picks for the top 3 best in show.

1. Big Eye IPA-This was the only one I went back to for seconds.
2. Freestate Brewery Dark IPA-There was a long line for this pour, and for good reason.
3. Redhook ESB-This beer made me a fan of the Extra Special Bitter.

All in all it was fun. I wouldn't go back by myself. But if a few friends or some family came to town, I'd do it again. Only this time I would buy tickets in advance...

Dear Darren

Dear Darren,

All I have to say is 303-30...where were you last night? They needed you...and a defense worth a plug nickel. So why don't you come back and bring a few mates from your '02-'03 team with you, perhaps a certain Lynch Mob? I think you guys and Josh would get along very well.

Desperately,

Wildcat Nation

P.S. What the heck was with those purple pants??

Be Like Mike

So my son, Garrett, likes to play with my paint brushes so we let him take one in the car on a trip uptown. To my surprise, I looked back and he was looking up and "painting" the ceiling of our car.

hmmm...I seem to remember another guy who kind of like to paint on ceilings...

Sad, Sad, Sad Chad

This about does it for me...

What an idiot.

Whatever You're Doing

I've been hearing this song on the radio lately and it has been really inspiring to me, so I thought I'd share. I know we all fall short in our lives and live with self doubt and fear. It is in those times most of all that we just need to take a moment to listen to what God's saying to us inside and trust that what he is doing is right...

Whatever You're Doing
by: Sanctus Real

It's time for healing, time to move on.
It's time to fix whats been broken too long.
Time to make right, what has been wrong.
It's time to find my way to where I belong.

There's a wave that's crashing over me,
and all I can do is surrender.

Whatever you're doing inside of me,
it feels like chaos but somehow there's peace.
And it's hard to surrender to what I can't see,
but I'm giving into something heavenly.

time for a milestone, time to begin again,
re-evaluate who I really am.
Am I doing everything to follow your will?
I'm just climbing aimlessly over these hills.

So show me what it is you want from me,
I'd give everything, I surrender to...

Whatever you're doing inside of me.
It feels like chaos but somehow theres peace.
And though it's hard to surrender to what I can't see,
I'm giving into something heavenly.
Something heavenly...

Time to face up, clean this old house.
Time to breathe in, and let everything out,
that I've wanted to say, for so many years.
Time to release some of held back tears.

Whatever you're doing inside of me,
it feels like chaos but I believe...
You're up to something bigger than me,
larger than life, something heavenly.

Whatever you're doing inside of me,
it feels like chaos but now I can see...
This is something bigger than me,
larger than life, something heavenly.
Something heavenly...

It's time to face up, clean this old house.
Time to breathe in, and let everything out.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=In8oOMf6gBI

Homebrew Saves Lives

Allow me a moment to share a story that many may not know. Charlie Papazian, the father of homebrewing and author of the homebrewer's "bible" has a modus operandi that has not failed him: "Relax, don't worry, have a homebrew." In his homebrewing book, this phrase is repeatedly repeated and he emphasizes that if you find yourself stressing out that your wort may be a few degrees off, or if you think you have oxygenated too much/too little, or over primed the bottles, heed the words, "Relax, don't worry, have a homebrew," and do just that. They are good advice for brewing, great advice for life.

Little do people know, but this mantra actually saved Charlie's life once upon a time. He was traveling with a buddy through the desert when his van got stuck in the sand. No amount of pushing, pulling, or cajoling would improve the situation. Mind you this was a time before cell phones or GPS navigation, and these two were stuck in the middle of the desert with thunderheads looming in the distance. They imagined themselves dying there in the sand and pictured their sun-bleached bones being discovered years later.

When hope was all but lost Charlie remembered a case of homebrew he had made resting peacefully in the back of the van. He said, "Let's just relax for a few minutes and have a homebrew." They proceeded to imbibe in some libations out in heat and put the seemingly futile situation behind them. After four bottles had been quaffed, and spirits had been renewed, a search of the surrounding area produced a piece of wood in the sand, a strange artifact to be found in the desert. They used the wood just as you might think and were able to get out of the sand and drive to safety just ahead of the storm.

Now, the obvious moral of the story is when life gets you stuck in the sand, relax, don't worry, have a homebrew. Charlie said that this story is how he came up with his now famous phrase. He passed it on to me, and now I'm passing it along to you. Follow Charlie's words. They won't only improve the results of your homebrew, they might just save your life as well.

So Far So Good

The Irish Draught Ale is happily bubbling away in primary fermentation. Everything seemingly went well Saturday morning as I began my first batch of brew. Beginning to end it took about four hours and two beers. My hydrometer reading was just a hair low, but I think I can live with that. I was just happy to see the yeast take off...now I feel that I can relax a little bit.

Marriage Is About Compromise

She said, "Alright, we'll take your truck after our wedding, but I'll be damned if you're going to wear those white socks."



(Editor's note: Yes, they did leave in this truck and yes, he did wear black socks.)

The Desk

The door opened at 7:32 AM. Ray Rei walked in letting it slam solidly behind him. Aiden looked up from his computer, surprised at the sight of the large man, let alone anyone at this time, he was usually by himself until at least 7:45. "Morning," was Ray Rei's greeting, smiling so his yellowed teeth would show. "Man, you always get here so early?"

Annoyed by this interruption of his schedule Aiden replied with a succinct "yes," and hoped that would be an end to the conversation. Of course it was a false hope. There was not such a thing as a succinct exchange with Ray Rei. "You ever, I don't know, like have the urge to just take your shirt off and run around the office when no one's here? You know, yell out stupid stuff just for the fun of it?"

After a couple of seconds, and some fake typing to make himself look terribly busy, Aiden looked up again. "No, I don't," he lied, knowing that just the other day he had in fact jumped up onto his desk and stood there for a few minutes, but he wasn't about to tell that to Ray Rei. He had just stood on his desk with the emergency lights on, no one else around. He was curious what the office would look like from that perspective, so he took a moment of his solitude to check it out. It turned out to be the most exciting part of his day.

This Is Not A Pipe

To All The Others

Allow me to clear the air:

Yes, I went to FHSU

No, I did not hang with Bill Shanahan

Yes, I know, he is kukoo crazy

No, he never mooned me personally

Yes, though eccentric, he is quite brilliant

Any more questions?

McMahan & Son Brewing

What a great day it was last Friday. My homebrew kit arrived via UPS. I turned the corner onto my street at lunch time and saw the brown truck just leaving my drive. I knew it would be a good day. With my son looking on and "helping", I opened all three boxes and identified carboy, bottling wand, siphon hose, etc. while my wife snapped a picture of my moment of glee. If all goes according to plan, I will brew my first of two batches this Saturday with hopes that they will be ready for the holiday season.

Batch #1: Cream Ale
Batch #2: Irish Draught Ale

More to come I'm sure...

Fine Brew & A New Love

This weekend found me in Cheney, KS, a small town just west of Wichita. There is a small brewpub there I have been wanting to try. They have 6 house brews and 2 rotating seasonals. Never having been there, I opted for the sampler, two ounce pours of each of the house beers. I have to be completely honest...I was a bit underwhelmed. It was fine brew, don't get me wrong, I just wanted it to be more.

The IPA could barely qualify even in the Pale Ale category. The server told me that the small community just hadn't warmed up to intense hop flavor. I realize they are running a business, but that compromise frustrated me. Being a hop-head myself, I was sad to say that the IPA was near the bottom for it's lack of flavor and that wonderful hoppy aroma. It was also a very cloudy beer. Upon further investigation, I found out that due to time constraints and demand that they don't do a secondary fermentation stage, which would help clarify the beer.

I won't go into too much detail of the others. They had some interesting seasonals that I wanted to try and the porter was surprisingly one of my favorites. I will be going back sometime, that's for sure.

The best part of the afternoon though, had to be my introduction to a new love: table shuffleboard. What a glorious game. There is no way it will happen, but I want one...in my basement...tomorrow. If you haven't played, you need to play. It's kind of like the traditional shuffleboard I am told (I have no idea), and kind of like curling on sawdust not ice and without the brooms of course. Grab a beer and a few friends and I promise a great time.

Experts

I was perusing the tops stories today and the headline in the sports section was, "The Experts Make Super Bowl Predictions." This has bothered me for a few years now. The "experts" spend so much time sitting around talking about things they have absolutely no control over. Do you think the "experts" picked the Giants to win last year's Super Bowl? Do you think they still gave them a chance at 10-6? I don't think so. All they do is sit around for countless hours and guess. They are as expert at predicting Super Bowl teams as I am at predicting the Kansas weather. There tune will change every week throughout the year until there are only 4 teams left and they then have a 50/50 chance and many of them will still get it wrong.

What's worse is college football. Did you know that the "experts" predict who will go to all 30 some odd bowl games? That's ridiculous. And preseason rankings are a joke, a vehicle to drive magazine sales. The only thing preseason rankings do is screw a really good, unpopular team. If you get preseason ranked No. 1 or 2 and go undefeated, then hey, I would say you'd be in favor of the ranking because you won't change your position and probably end up in the title game. However, what if you are preseason ranked 20, or not at all by the "experts" and have a great year and go undefeated? Unless you beat one of those top two teams, the chances of jumping one of them are slim. So, you are the odd man out because the "experts" couldn't foresee you having a descent year. Start the rankings in October, once league play starts. There are some good games at the beginning of the season, but for the most part a majority of the games are glorified practices in which DI schools beat up on DI-AA teams. Give everyone a clear shot in the end.

Here's my expert predictions:
Super Bowl: It will be someone you be picking right now.
College: Someone will get screwed.

They should give me my own prediction show...

Autumn

Ahhh...do you smell that? Autumn is in the air. I opened the windows in my house last night and I was actually cold when I got up this morning...cold! It was wonderful. I know it's still a little early to get excited and it will probably climb back up to 90 this weekend, but hey, I'm enjoying the moment now. It doesn't hurt to have something to look forward to.

Geek

I love being a geek on multiple levels in multiple areas. It allows me to say things like this: "You know, I'll bet the bat cave would be great for lagering."

Happy Labor Day

I spent my Labor Day Weekend in a place where there is no internet and cell phones don't work for the most part. It was nice to "cut the cord" for awhile...but it did not bode well for my blog addiction. But now I'm safely back into my electronic world, happily typing away. What have I become...

Memo From an Evil Overlord

MEMORANDUM:


To all Imperial Fleet employees:

This is just a reminder of the upcoming annual Imperial Picnic. Families are more than welcome to attend. Main courses will be provided and all are encouraged to bring a side dish and/or dessert. We will, as we have in the past, be giving out awards to winners of the Storm Trooper of the Year, the Jango Fett look-a-like contest, and also the "Who Can Take More Than One Glancing Laser Blast" award. In addition, we have added a new Father/Son Ewok tossing competition. A special appearance and oration from the Emperor will take place to cap off the evening.

I look forward to seeing you all in the Death Star commons area on Sunday. May the Force be with you.


Regards,


D. Vader
Dark Lord of the Sith

Horrible is Wonderful

If you haven't seen it yet, go to http://www.drhorrible.com/mushortio.html and watch Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog. A word of caution, you might want to allow around 45 minutes or so. There are three fifteen minute episodes, so you could break it up, but you'll want to watch them all anyway they are so well done. You'll want to destroy the status quo because the status is not quo, and in the end you'll have PhD in horribleness.

The Iron Throne

We sit on a throne of a thousand swords, never comfortable, never allowing ourselves to sit back lest we gouge ourselves on the barbs of self-infliction. We sit high on the dais, to better judge all whom are deemed less than deserving of our time, time that has shortened itself by our command. Instant has turned into eternity, and forever now translates to "until something better comes along." The ideal of what should be remains ideal, whilst our lives waste away in a reality that is not easily assuaged by the "comfort" of the iron throne. It was forged in the fires of guilt and tempered by the fear that that guilt would remain in perpetuity. There are no bindings, no lashings on our wrists. We choose our seat. And the throne of a thousand swords is as tempting as a bright red apple, ripe for the taking.

Time Traveling

My clock on my computer at work has been creeping ever so slightly in the reverse direction, getting slower and slower. It didn't bother me too much, I just knew that it was 4 minutes off...until today. The IT guy came by and "fixed the problem." However, one minute it was 11:44 and 10 seconds later by my watch my computer changed to 11:48. Thus, I am writing this to you 4 minutes in the future. What does the future hold you might ask? Well, for me, the future holds a turkey sandwich and some Doritos. So I'm not sure if I traveled through time, or just move 4 minutes closer to lunch.

The Kayak

He inhaled. The cold morning air burned as it filled his lungs. He held it there for a moment. He liked it. It made him feel alive and vibrant. The early rays of dawn were just breaking over the horizon, and a welcoming warmth from the sun washed over him in an attempt to sate the chill in his bones. He stared out across the river to the still trees with a stoic gaze and decided it was time. He kept his balance as he lowered himself down into his vessel. His fingers wrapped around the cold steel of the paddle and with a gentle push, he was free...The current instantly took hold of the kayak, but practiced strokes righted his ship. An exhilarated calm came over him. The disconnected freedom he felt in the water was unparalleled. It was like he was no longer weighted down, and he became part of something immense and alive. He reached out his hand and let his fingers skim the surface of the water. It was cold, forty degrees perhaps, and icy to the touch. He smiled. He began to paddle again, not knowing his destination. That thought was secondary. Today he was letting go, letting the water move him, and leaving everything behind in his wake.

The Countdown

I have a calendar at work. It sets on a shelf and all twelve months fit nicely on a letter-sized piece of card stock. I mark off the days in blue pen. I have calculated that at end of July, the year was 58.33% over, and August, 66.67% done. A good day is coming back from a rare three day weekend in which I can not only cross out four days, but strike through a row as well. It is satisfying. But I have to wonder, why? What am I counting down? There is no "last day of school" to look forward to, no X amount of days until Senior Year. There are no more immediates in my life. I'm in it for the long haul, counting down to retirement, or death. And based on my calendar, I am thousands of blue checks away, and a very small percentage of being done. Damn the electric fence.

10 Things

This is a variation of something I saw on a few other blogs I frequent. Instead of telling 10 things I did today, I am going to list 10 things I wish I would have done.

1. Called in sick.
2. Turned left instead of right.
3. Written more.
4. Sat upwind rather than down.
5. Turned up the music a little louder.
6. Prayed more.
7. Bought those shoes.
8. Called a friend.
9. Not opened that trash can.
10. Gone to bed an hour ago.

09/01/2008

I have seen the face of joy, and joy comes in a large box...

September 1st is coming.

Daily Dose

What a great way to start each day. I have recently found this website (thank you Ryan) and highly recommend that you make it part of your daily routine.

http://wvs.topleftpixel.com/

Happy Birthday

One year ago my son, Garrett, was born. That was the happiest, and scariest day of my life. I can't believe it has already been a year. He's growing up too quickly, but learning more and more everyday. I can't imagine my life without him. He means everything to me, and I love being his dad.

Happy birthday Garrett...

Spealio

--I've seen this artist perform live a few times. He is absolutely brilliant as is this CD. HEAVEN!!!

--I'm no expert, but I know what I like...and this I like! Smooth and kickin' at the same time; Markley's performance and compositions are excellent. Highly recommended.

--This is a great CD - music is beautiful. Thanks to the great artists - this is a hit. Add this to your jazz collection.

The above are reviews for Spealio, an amazing jazz CD featuring music composed and performed by the one and only Ben Markley, jazz pianist. The coolest thing about this CD, for me at least, is that Ben is one of my good friends from college. I've seen him play many, many times and can definitely attest to his piano playing perfection. He is one of the most dedicated people I know, and I'm very happy for the attention he is getting. I've just recently learned about the CD, so I haven't picked one up yet, but I've listened to most of the tracks, and everyone should go out and buy this album. You'll be glad you did.

I miss you buddy...

King Midas

I stole the title, but it is true. Congratulations are in order Mr. Phelps. What you did will possibly never be done again...and I'm glad I was there to see it.

Meanderings

Two mind meanderings that I thought up and like to think about from time to time...

1. If you could build a straight road that circumvented the globe perpendicular to it's axis, and could drive at the exact rotation rate of earth in the opposite direction, not only would you appear stationary from space, but as the sights are blurring by in your peripheral, the sun would never set from your reference point. In time it would move north and south, but it would never set...think about it.

2. If you were to walk due North until you reached the exact point of the earth's northern magnetic pole, you would then be standing in a spot in which every direction around you, front, back, left, right, would all be south. It would remain this way until you took one step in any direction, thus mapping out your new orientation. Behind you would be north and to your left and right would be east and west, respectively...think about it.

Imagination is more important than knowledge...

One More...

I couldn't resist this one...

--So I say 208 wye, and he says, "Because I said so!!"

Pride

Call it parental pride, but I think my kid is the smartest ever. I mean come on, reading the paper at 11 months...that's probably a record.

Fun With the NEC

I am currently attending a National Electric Code seminar in Omaha, NE. Good stuff. Below I have given 3 examples of just the punchlines of jokes that you may hear in the presence of electricians, engineers, and the like...

--So he says, "Insulator? I've never even met her."


--So after he got zapped I said, "Ohhh, you said grounding conductor."


--So he's going out for the first time and his mom yells, "Don't forget to use overcurrent protection!"

Tiny Hands

This is what I see at 12:50 PM every weekday, tiny little hands pressed against the glass as I drive away. Sometimes there are tears, not today. Now how can a guy go back to work in such a state? It's the hardest part of my day. However, it's made all the better when I come home and he's there to greet me with, "Dad!" Best part of my day.

End of an Era

I can't say that I was ever a huge fan, but there was something solid about seeing a number 4 behind center every Sunday wearing green and yellow for a good majority of my life. And I liked how he played the game. It will be a lot different now that he's a Jet. I have to say I'm a little disappointed in how it all played out though. Oh well...Go Pack.

Worms in My Ears

Podcasts are wonderful, a change of pace in my day. I listen to them while I work and like to think that I'm making the most of my time by working and educating myself at the same time. There's not much to say about them really. There is a podcast out there for many, many different subjects. Here are the ones that I catch every episode of:

http://www.geekson.com/
-I've mentioned my love for Geekson before. Very entertaining and intellectual conversations with a great format and a surprising variety.

http://www.basicbrewing.com/
-James Spencer provides a wealth of knowledge for both the beginning home brewer and advanced. He arranges some pretty impressive, informative interviews with some big names in the craft-brew arena including the Godfather, Charlie Papazian.

http://www.radiolab.com/
-This is probably the one I quote the most. It is a very well produced show that offers very interesting studies in science and life. I use information gathered on this podcast in many a discussion.

http://www.dancarlin.com/
-Dan has two podcast, Common Sense, which is a political show if you like the right side way of thinking, and Hardcore History, the one I listen to. Dan is very well prepared for his shows and knows a lot about a lot of things history. He makes you want to know more all the time, I like that.

http://www.craftbeerradio.com/
-This show is a novelty. Two guys sit around and drink beer and tell you how good/bad it is. I am an occasional listener because they give good "beer history" lessons sometimes and that is kind of neat to hear how things develop.

There are a few others that I might stumble upon from time to time, but these are the ones that I listen to so much that I feel like I "know" the hosts. If anyone has any more suggestions, I'm always up to try a new show, and if you haven't checked these out and them seem interesting, give them a try.

Catch the Reference

So my neighbor stops by the other day and asks if I wouldn't mind giving her husband a hand moving a few things. I said sure, why not. I know what you are thinking. You are thinking, "How well do you really know these people, Josh? First it's the furniture, next thing you know, you'll be driving them to the airport." Well I can tell you for a certainty, I'm not driving them to the airport.

Haiku

Back to work again
A weekend that was so fun
Makes the week so long

I sit in my chair
Counting the hours 'til five
Only eight to go

The day it drags on
The rolling hills call to me
Damn electric fence

Thank you.

Men in Black

I have a good friend that works for the Fed. He carries a badge with a black flip-top holder which when flashed, gets him to the front of the line. In a low voice airport security asks him, "Are you carrying today." Even though he is not allowed to in his line of work he coolly replies, "Not today," and boards the plane.

Quint Buchholz

Is he climbing in, or climbing out? Why?

What I'm Drinking

Speaking of beer...this is what I'm drinking right now.

It's from Breckenridge Brewery in Colorado called Small Batch 471. My wife picked it up for me (she knows just what I like, what a gal) the other day and it has been wonderful. This one is not for the weak of taste bud though. Actually the website said it was created to "separate the weak from the strong." It is very hoppy, befitting the style of a double IPA, and wonderfully delicious. It has a deep amber color and great head retention down to the last drop. It has a sweet mouth feel and is bitter, very bitter, so if that is not your style, then this is not your beer. It's not readily available so you'll have to do some looking, but it's well worth the search.

Cheers...

Wonderful World of Beer

One of my favorite things is beer. Don't get me wrong, it's not a love like a frat guy "loves" beer. I can honestly say that I can have a beer with supper and truly enjoy the flavor and all around taste of a well crafted brew. I have found that beer is a very complex beverage and reaches far beyond the public perception of what the macro-breweries offer. This perception is that macro-brewed light beer is "beer" for all intents and purposes. This simply is not true. If you were to broaden your horizons, you might find that you actually enjoy flavor in your beer, that there is more to it that just a vehicle for alcohol. I'm not trying to put anyone down. If you like the macro-brewed light beer, then I say drink it, that's fine with me. But if you want to step out for a bit and try something new, you might be pleasantly surprised at what you might like.

Those thinking about trying it might have a few misconceptions about craft-brewed beer. I am going to address the three big ones that I have encountered over the past few years and dispel them:

1. Avoid "bitter beer face."
--This campaign really took craft beer a step back. It is completely untrue. Bitterness in beer is something you want, something the beer needs. Finding the right balance of hoppy bitterness and the sweetness of the malt is something brewers painstakingly strive for. It is a good thing for a beer to have bitterness or else you would end up with a sugary drink somewhat resembling a child's beverage. What "they" were referring to is avoiding skunky beer, beer that is too old or has been exposed to light. That is definitely something to avoid, but leave the bitterness alone.

2. I just don't like that "dark stuff."
--This is a misconception that many people have. They think to step outside of the macro-brewed beer means that will have to start drinking dark beer. Absolutely not true on many different levels. I have had a dark, black beer was as light and smooth as a light beer, and conversely I have had a straw colored beer that was heavier than a stout. There are many different styles to try. Don't limit yourself to thinking dark beer=craft-brew drinker. There are some wonderfully delicious beers that are light, crisp, and refreshing such as a Hef, or a Kolsch, or a nice Wheat. Take your time and work up to what you feel comfortable with, and you'll be fine.

3. Craft brew drinkers are "beer snobs."
--Yes, I like my craft brew. However, I will not turn down an offered macro-brew just because it is what it is. In fact, sometimes I like to pop open a macro-brew after mowing the lawn, it just hits the spot. Nice and cold, easy to drink, it's quite refreshing. If given a choice though, I would probably always choose a craft brew. Once you come over to our side, that doesn't mean you can't go back.

Take it for what it's worth. Give it a try if you want, if not, that's fine too. Just know that there are some really wonderful beers out there that go relatively unnoticed by a majority of the population. If anyone wants a suggestion of one they should try, let me know and I'll try to help. And as always, drink responsibly and don't drink and drive.

Running

I like to run. Until this summer, it had been awhile since I ran on a consistent basis. Even now though, I'm not all that consistent. In an attempt to earn back an iota of former physical "glory," I have come to the depressing realization that that would not happen anytime soon. So, I started getting complacent, a nice word for lazy. Boy how easily the excuses came each morning: "It's too much of a hassle to run in the rain...Gosh, it sure looks windy out today...I'll use this morning to catch up from the weekend and start up again tomorrow..." Pretty soon, I wasn't running anymore.

Then, just yesterday I saw a story on the news that changed it all. There was a small boy, about 4 or 5 years old who was born without knees. He had to have his legs amputated to this thighs. He grew up having about as normal of a life as he could without legs, but his parents could see how much he desperately wanted to be outside, running and playing with the other kids. The doctors thought it would never work, but they fit him with a pair of those "blades," the curved, metallic extensions that seem to spring as you step. The look on his face when he began to bound down the hall broke your heart and lifted it at the same time. It was determination and elation all in one. He could run. He raced his doctor and anyone else willing to toe the starting line. Before long ran a mile long race of his own...smiling with every step.

It was such an inspiration that it shamed me. For twenty some odd years I have had the ability to run any time I wanted. There has never been anything to stop me except the excuses I made. It made me think not only of my legs, but how many other things I take for granted every day. I stopped with the excuses, and you can be sure that my butt was on the road this morning and will be tomorrow as well...smiling with every step.

Top 10

The top 10 most memorable days of my life:

October 7, 1983 - My first day.

November 13, 2001 - The day I started making decisions for myself.

May 19, 2002 - My Independence Day.

August 22, 2002 - The day I said hello.

January 1, 2004 - The first day of the best job I would ever have.

July 2, 2005 - The day I decided two was infinitely more than one.

May 27, 2006 - The day she said I do.

December 1, 2006 - The day I learned of my new purpose in life.

May 19, 2007 - The day I said goodbye.

August 20, 2007 - The day that I became a father.

Who Am I? Part 2

I received a lengthy, and very appreciated comment on a previous post titled "Who Am I?" As I mentioned in the post, it is the cause of some discussion. Instead of commenting on the original, I thought I would revisit the topic by posting her comment, then discussing with my own opinion.

Ashley wrote:
Who am I? I have no idea. I received a “B” in a class titled ‘Understanding the Self’, I second guess myself all the time, and I perpetually change my mind. I’m not qualified, by any means, to explain “What makes you, you?” However, I have put “a little” thought into this, and all I’ve come up with are more questions. Josh, you answered this mystery the best you possibly could in the amount of space allocated. And yes, I think you’re a la carte version as a whole answers the question, but let me pose this to you…

-If you are defined by your memories or simple events, what made you react to that situation the very first time? Doesn’t your personality (which I have read in a peer reviewed journal is 93% genetics) have an influence on your decisions,likes/dislikes, overall demeanor, and interpersonal relationships? In that case, how much free will do we have if we are predisposed to react to certain stimuli due to the configuration of our genes? And, what role do our moods and emotions play in how we respond to people, places, and things. So I ask, biologically, how much of an influence do your genes play in who you are?

-Can you choose to be a “meta-reference” and be “intentionally left blank”? I have heard several stories about people who completely change their life around all by the power of the mind. And don’t some actors actually try to become the character they are playing in a film in order to portray the role accurately? So I ask, how much of an influence does the brain itself have to play in this confounded question? Or does that relate back to your genes?

I believe that I have a soul and that a higher being is leading me down a predestined path; however, I also believe that I have been given the freedom of choice so as to choose how I would like to get from point A to point B of that path. Everything in life happens for a reason. This cause and effect relationship teaches all of us valuable lessons in life and leads us into this state of constant change. Because we are permanently changing will we ever really be able to identify “Who am I?” Sorry, Josh, all I can offer are questions.

My response to Ashley:
Ah, I'm glad you mentioned free will, one of my other favorite topics to discuss, I won't get into it now though. You asked, "How much free will do we have if we are predisposed to react to certain stimuli due to the configuration of our genes?" A well put question indeed. My answer would be that free will has to do with the choice, not the reaction to that choice. Sure, we might be predisposed and have no control on how we will react to the stimuli based on our genes as you said, but we sometimes have a choice of whether or not to engage in that stimuli, that's where free will kicks in. I'll set forth an example. If you had never had onions on your hamburger and you were faced with a choice today: a burger with onions or a burger without onions, you have free will to choose one or the other (theoretically). You choose with onions. The moment you bite into that burger your brain then decides whether it is a favorable or unfavorable reaction to the stimulus of the overall taste of onions. Yuck, you don't like onions. You don't like the feel of them in your mouth, or the smell of them as you chew. That reaction, as you have put forth, may be a genetic disposition. You had no control over the reaction, but you clearly chose to engage in the testing of the stimulus, thus reinstating free will. Now, on a tangential note about choices. The many worlds theory would say that even though you made the choice to get onions on your burger, there is still another version of you out there that at the same time is eating, and enjoying for the sake of our discussion, an onion free burger. All choice possibilities exist in the universe because each and every moment exists and it is our mind in each situation that make the choice we make real.


Now, on to your next question: "Can you choose to be a meta-reference?" I don't think you can choose to be a meta-reference. Instead I think that it is something you can strive for, something you can achieve. A meta-reference has awareness, it knows what it is and it's purpose. So to me, striving to be a meta-reference is the same as striving to know who you are as a person, breaking free of the constructs or script of life and "marching to the beat of your own drum" because that is who you are. Ultimately, that is what we want to achieve, right? Being completely happy and loving who we are no matter the circumstances, knowing our purpose and being aware that we are living and able to acknowledge ourselves as whole. I would like to be a meta-reference in that case.

The fact of the matter is that there is no answer. Even as I write this I can think of 3 to 4 things at least that would falsify or put into serious question everything that I just said, and I didn't even touch on some of your comments due to the length. So in a sense, the search continues and will ever be continuing with the questions. All I can do in the mean time is exist and be the best person I know how to be taught to me by my parents, their parents before them, and the influence of my friends and peers around me. You had it just right. We are in a perpetual state of minuscule changes. It's what keeps us going, letting us know that we exist, we're alive, that we just, are in the universe. And maybe knowing that is ultimately all that matters.

Untitled

When does the guise of shy and complacent turn to the reality of cold and tempestuous? When you hear this, "If you make that noise one more time, I swear I will rip out your tongue and make you wear it as an eye patch."

I believe they call that "snapping."

Loan Application For an Evil Overlord

Dear Mr. Vader-

I regret to inform you that we will not be approving your application for a first time home buyer's loan. Your unemployment has raised some legitimate concerns about your ability to make the regular payments. Also, we noted in your credit file that you recently defaulted on your last loan of 1 billion Imperial Credits for the construction of your Death Star. Apparently you were unable to recover financially after your son blew it up and you killed the emperor, your cosigner on the loan. Furthermore, no evidence has been shown that you have overcome this setback.

We realize it may be hard to find employment with the current state of the economy, and see from your records that you have been applying for various positions. We would be happy to revisit your application once you have found a steady source of income.

On that note, I have attached for your consideration an application for a bank security position. I found your presence to be very intimidating and perception especially sharp. Let me know your level of interest and we may be able to work you into an interview in the near future.

Thank you for your interest in First Union National State Bank of America.


Lucas George Sr.
President, FUNSBA
886-935-2455
lgeorge@funsba.com

The Windows

There are seven windows along the north side of my office. I can only make out the top halves of each of them from my cubicle without stretching. I only see a row of sky, slate blue sky today. An occasional bird soars by and asks me what I am doing in there. My reply doesn't reach them. The void that is my workspace acts as a vacuum in which no sound can escape, but the torturous sounds of my neighbor's bodily functions still reach my ears. The breeze looks pleasant today, the sun nice and warm. I won't feel them though until it is too late to enjoy them, in which time the vacuum will have sucked all of the ambition out of me. There are seven windows along the north side of my office. And I hate them.


Damn the electric fence. Damn the electric fence.

Tick Warning

This is a PSA for all of you out there.

I received this email a couple of days ago, and I usually don't pass along things like this, but I think it is important for you to know.

If someone comes to your front door saying they are checking for ticks due to the warm weather and asks you to take your clothes off and dance around with your arms up, DO NOT DO IT!! THIS IS A SCAM!! They really aren't checking for ticks. They only want to see you jump up and down while naked. I wish I would have known this a few days ago.



Knowing is half the battle...

Resistentialism

Out with the old: "A watched pot never boils."

In with the new: "A watched queue never prints."



Damn resistentialism...

I Have Seen the Fnords

I have been deconditioned...I can now see the fnords.

Rest assured there are no "fnords" in my writing, just as there are no "fnords" in advertisement. The only way to see them and stop the discordia is to become deconditioned as I have. Once you are able to see the "fnord" it will no longer have the effect on you.

Get out from under the thumb of the government! See the fnords for yourself! Viva la resistance!

I have seen the fnords.

Music

Sometimes you get it just right. The blinker keeps time with the bass line. The instrumental solo crescendos when "she" walks into the room. Sometimes an unexplainable consonance occurs without you even knowing it, like the music is somehow a soundtrack for your life. A good song is entertainment, audio waves filling a void of silence. A great song however...that has purpose. You hear the lyrics, harmonies, and melodies and are swept away in a feeling that at that point in time there could not be a more poignant, telling description of your life, and even if for a few minutes, everything will be okay.

Wiest

"Friends are like a fist full of sand. When you let them go, the littler grains will slip between the cracks of your fingers, but the greatest ones will stick to your hand and will not fall through."

--Chris McKenna, 2005

I've felt like a little grain of sand lately, slipping through the proverbial fingers of many whom I have had the pleasure of calling friends. It comes with a great deal of guilt, of thinking I was never going to be this out of touch, but before I knew it, three months had past and I realized that I can no longer recall their numbers from memory. I have no regrets, I love my life and would not wish it any different. However, a part of me misses the past.

I think about my friends with a delightful reverence and I long for the times we spent living together in Wiest Hall. Times of Stan the Gun, "council" meetings, and on-call poker. Road trips taken for crushes and Heisman trophy winners alike, Tiger Woods golf, and real golf off of the roof, bluffs, and anything in between. I miss the front desk, Rose, Susan, and "those dirty bastards." Back then the nut fry made sense and your rank in life was determined by NCAA Football 2005. A door was always open and though the cafeteria was never any good, there was always someone to eat with.

Wiest holds a lot of memories for me. For the past 37 years it has stood sentinel over the southern end of campus, and for three of those years, it was home to my friends and me. I'm sure I'm not the only one who misses those times above and countless more unmentioned. They were some of the best times of my life. I grabbed a big fistful of sand back then, and many grains have stuck. I only hope that somewhere out there, I'm stuck to someone's hand too.