Unemployment For an Evil Overlord

June 18, 2008

Mr. Darth Vader
The Death Star
A Galaxy Far Far Away
09909-2444


Dear Mr. Vader,

Thank you for your interest in the Sales Manager position with us here at Apple. We were very impressed with your resume and cover letter and how you presented yourself in your interview. We were all very fond of the story of how you brought balance to the force. We feel that you would make an exemplary employee.

However, we regret to inform you that this position has been filled internally. We could not justify hiring you based on your limited work experience as "Dark Lord of the Sith" alone, though you held that position for a number of years. We were also pressed to rule out your ability to "force choke the competition into submission" as that is a violation of section 4, sub-section C in our policy manual detailing the use of physical aggression as a means of coercion, regardless of the proximity.

We will keep your resume on file, and should any positions arise that require your unique ability to duel with a lightsaber or destroy a planet with your Death Star, we will contact you in a timely manner. Thank you again for your interest with us here at Apple Mr. Vader.

On a personal note, we were glad to hear about the reunion between you and your long lost son. Congratulations!


Sincerely,

Jim Burns
Director of Human Resources