Interview With An Evil Overlord

I received some inside information that Darth Vader was among the readers of this blog. So, I pulled a few strings with some friends in L.A. and was able to get a phone interview with the man himself. Here is my interview with The Dark Lord of the Sith.

Me: Good afternoon Lord Vader, welcome to Intentionally Left Blank.

D.V.: (heavy breathing)

Me: Hello, Lord Vader...can you hear me alright?

D.V.: I sense something...a presence I haven't felt since...

Me: Hmmm...Well, it's just me here, Josh from ILB.

D.V.: We meet again at last.

Me: ...Wait, what?

D.V.: The circle is now complete. When I left you I was but the learner, now I am the master.

Me: Uh...actually, this is the first time we have met, I think. You might have me confused with someone else perhaps. I just write for this blog.

D.V.: Don't be too proud of this technological terror you've constructed.

Me: Okay, I guess. I didn't know it was that terrible. Listen, is it alright with you if we begin the interview.

D.V.: As you wish. What is thy bidding master?

Me: Ha ha, sarcasm, I like the humor. Uh, anyway, welcome to ILB. I'm really excited to be speaking with you. I am a big fan, and I know some of the readers are fans as well. Now, my first question is: What is your opinion of the current economic status and the financial crisis?

D.V.: I find your lack of faith disturbing.

Me: Oh, I have faith, I really do. I'm sorry if my question lead you to believe that I am being pessimistic.

D.V.: Apology accepted Captain Needa.

Me: Uh, it's, uh, Josh actually, and I just meant to say, do you think Bush has made the right decision concerning the matter?

D.V.: If he could be turned, he would be a powerful ally.

Me: President Bush? Are you serious?

D.V.: He is as clumsy as he is stupid. He will join us or die, my master.

Me: Well, I suppose that's right, the first part anyway.

D.V.: So, you have accepted the truth? You were unwise to lower your defenses.

Me: Oh, trust me, I haven't. I have been pretty defensive.

D.V.: You have learned much, young one. Perhaps I can find new ways to motivate them.

Me: I'm quite sure that you could, now if we could...

D.V.: I am altering the deal.

Me: What? But we were in the midd...

D.V.: Perhaps you think you're being treated unfairly?

Me: No, I mean...not really, I guess.

D.V.: Pray I don't alter it any further.

Me: Ummm...okay.

D.V.: Obi-wan never told you what happened to your father.

Me: My father lives not far from here, actually.

D.V.: I am your father.

Me: No, you don't understand. I just saw my father last weekend.

D.V.: Search your feelings. You know it to be true.

Me: No, No! I will never join you. You are clearly nuts. I can't see how Luke puts up with you. This has been a big waste of my time.

D.V.: The Emperor will compensate you.

Me: Fine, I'll send him a bill. (click)

D.V.: (heavy breathing)